Courtship is often viewed as a linear process where males display and female assessment of this display shapes her mating decisions. However, communication can be far more dynamic and interactive, particularly in species that develop long-term relationships. Interactional complexity is not well captured by traditional models of animal communication. Here, we tested whether interactional elements shape female preferences in the monogamous zebra finch. We used selective calling as a measure of female preference. First, we asked whether females' most-preferred song (based on passive song playback) matched her most-preferred male (based on a live interaction). We found a mismatch in the preferences for song versus live males, and female preferences for a live male did not appear to be linked to how much he sang. Next, to experimentally manipulate male responsiveness, we habituated females to the song of their most-preferred or least-preferred male. This song habituation caused females to change their preferences differently depending on whether they were habituated to their most- or least-preferred male. Together, these results highlight that additional interactional elements, beyond male song, impact female social preferences. More broadly, our results contribute to growing evidence that models of communication should incorporate interactional and distributed elements.